Maybe it’s just me, but if there’s something that really makes me disconnect in so many levels from a conversation and people, is getting automated responses. I just shut down until the other person completes their soliloquy and we can both disengage. In collective gatherings or when you view it on social media it’s something despairing, endless loops of quick and not there replies. Interactions have been watered down to just a meaningless back and forth’s until you end up in nothing because the point wasn’t conversing, it was swiping thru(in real life as well). I’d like to think I have a gift at picking these things up, but for real, probably not, I’m just calling it out and hoping to put it into conversation so we can start fixing this.
We have to take steps back and captivate each other, paying attention to someone who’s giving you their time, and taking yours up too. I’m not trying to be overdramatic, extra, or get an ¨I’m so over this¨ reaction from anyone. It’s a lot easier to just move on to the next anything than to actually be honest with ourselves on how badly our behavior has gotten. Stop being lazy on using your words, expressions, your uniqueness. This behavior somehow all started with everyone trying to one up each other in the first place and not be labeled as standard, now it’s cookie cutter expressions for every interaction in fear of standing out as a weirdo for caring or thinking. If you want to talk about how good that coffee your having is, describe why, stop saying, I’m dying right now or best coffee ever, loving it. Those tiny interactions condition us on being lazy in bigger ones until it’s all just an ongoing like-fest and ineptitude when wanting to convey our thoughts to one another.
Small exercise that we should practice on each other, don’t ask closed ended questions. You ask someone how they’re doing, you’ll hear ¨fine¨, and dread if you get ¨well….¨, care enough to listen. You’re not to busy to listen to someone, you should make the time, this disconnect that we offer up to the world isn’t cool and doesn’t make you all superstar mysterious, it makes us lack empathy and unapologetically selfish. Stop giving those types of closed replies also, yes you may get some people giving you crazy looks, kind of like the one you give your phone when someone calls and doesn’t text, but that’s on them for being too busy for people, not you for wanting to know someone better or caring. We are the most disconnected, connected generation e v e r, wanting to move on to the next interaction like if we lived in 15 second TikTok video intervals.
Wildly known secret, everyone can tell when you’re giving automated responses, they just rather do the same because you both don’t care your wasting each-others time. Also it’s a self confidence thing, you don’t point it out because you’re afraid of being called rude, when the other people are actually the culprits. Call to action…practice to have better conversations, exercise your ability at having good talks with your social circles, and when commenting on social media, give a little more effort than an ¨amazing, wow! Loves it!¨…if not for anything else, it’ll make you stand out more. Hopefully in these lock down times we’ve been learning many things, I’ll highlight one that’s probably on everyones list; human interactions are fun, they are cherished, they make memories, let’s work on making better meaningful conversations on whatever journeys forward from here.
I purposefully worked on being the offbeat one sending the long replies, complete comments or giving the extra long congratulations, that’s my way of showing I care enough to respect you and appreciate you. #funfact – I’m aware and not naive to that, I practiced at it, I was tired of me giving the automated responses everyone expects because well, that’s just really more annoying and pointless, plus I do care.